Film Reflection: War Photographer, 2001

War Photographer
Feat. James Nachtwey (photojournalist)
Dir. Christian Frei
First Run/Icarius Films, 2001
96 min., Unrated

Reflections:
A calm, positive outlook is James' key to managing his tough photographic shoots in war zones. He channels his frustrations and pains into his work, which acts as a coping mechanism in addition to creating a personal viewpoint in his photography. By emotionally distancing himself from such adverse conditions, though, Jim has lost opportunities to lead a "normal life," according to his best friend (01:20:00). He hasn't been able to let women into his life for romantic relationships; he wasn't able to share his journey in that way with the above referenced ex-girlfriend (who he is still on excellent terms with, though she wishes their "love affair" had lasted much longer and been emotionally deeper).

I'm scared that international documentary photography will take the same toll on me. I know that I am strong in character (at least deep down), and my skills and technical confidence will grow with lots more time behind a camera in differing situations. I'm worried, though, that without a consistent personal happiness to offset the painful situations I work in, I won't be strong enough to endure those trials I need to go through--seeing such destruction, and such a hatred for one's neighbor.

Seeing this film and the way Nachtwey handled his personal life begs so many questions -- even if I can handle the juxtapositioning of happiness and strife, could I possibly find a partner capable of the same (or of watching me experiencing it and having patience with me through those struggles)? Is this something fair to ask of anyone else? Might I have to sacrifice love in its entirety, or just the "domestic bliss" part? If I am alone in the battle, will I still be strong enough to carry through with my "mission"? Will I still go and photograph? Or will I let fear overwhelm me and keep me home and "safe," though possibly miserable?